The RCMP and Me!

In the news today, there is an outcry over a YouTube video that depicts the murder of Polish immigrant Robert Dziekanski. The Herald says death, but let's call a spade a spade. In late November, the man, who doesn't speak English, wandered around the Vancouver airport for nine hours. He became disoriented and upset. When he was approached, there was no Polish translator. Four men tasered him, which led to his death. This was despite the fact that they could have subdued him without weapons.

Now, I think everyone who actively uses a blog has some sort of outcry about tasers. This will not follow suit and become some cry for peace and happiness.

The Calgary Herald and RCMP gets the January 3rd head scratcher award. This comes from their article today, which tells the story of a YouTube video that depicts a retro video game character MegaMan ® zapping a character that has the face of Dziekanski.

The article puts the blame on some heartless internet freak: "The public was disturbed by the event. This is how the subculture reacted to it," said Grywalska.

The article further says that the RCMP has tried to censor the video, and admits that the Polish Ambassador to Canada has seen the video, an obvious black eye for Canadians to be depicting the death of a Polish citizen as humourous.

But the real humour comes from the article itself:

Kamloops, B.C., resident Jurek Baltakis, who gave the eulogy at Dziekanski's funeral, said he would not want to show the video to Dziekanski's mother Zofia Cisowski.
"It seems like a little innocent video game, but I can tell you for Robert Dziekanski and his mom it was not a game. It was terribly shocking," said Baltakis.

Hold on! There has GOT to be a better adjective for a taser case than shocking. Maybe I'm just looking into this too much, but come on man... You should realize that saying surprising is really what you are looking for.

Point number two, at the end of the article, after urging people not to go watch the video. They post the link.

tsk tsk tsk. This is so counter productive to the cause. It's ADVERTISING what the RCMP doesn't want the public to see. If you really want the video down, have Capcom contact the man and threaten legal action if the video is not removed. Do it very quietly, and in such a manner that the man cannot form a stronger case to get more newspaper headlines.




Finally, don't taser the man. Then we wouldn't have this lousy blog post, lousy Herald article, and lousy YouTube video (I didn't watch it, but I got the gist), and furthermore (most importantly), no black eye for Canada because of the death of a Polish citizen. Don't defer the blame for this publicity to someone who made a satirical video. They have every right to be upset at what YOU did Vancouver... Show the public what improvements you have made, rather than pointing the finger at someone else.

Okay, slow news day. I'm off to change the headlight of my car.

Another Victory For Don Cherry

As I write this, the zamboni is on the ice at the 10 minute mark of the third period. The teams switch sides to ensure the ice is not a deciding factor of the game. The snow is making a blanket of the ice, and the scene could not be better for the 71 217 in attendance. The CBC shots of the crowd are great, everyone is huddled together with an average of 2.3 beer per person.

The game resumes, and Sergei Gonchar blasts a shot well wide of the goal and out of play. The camera zooms in on a frustrated Gonchar, trying to clean his snow covered visor. Sidney Crosby, also clearly bothered by his visor.

Sergei Gonchar is quoted as saying 'it's really hard after you sit on a cold bench'. Visor-yielding pansy. You won't hear a good Canadian kid crying about that.

The puck bounces right infront of Russian Evgeni Malkin. Malkin does not see it, and coasts right past it. Colby Armstrong (Canadian, no visor) scoops it up and continues play.

More ice problems. More delays. Enough snow has fallen to make the ice surface unplayable. However, the Dodge ® Zamboni stopped working. (NOOOO!!!!! North American cars ARE more dependable! We CAN justify massive trade tariffs on cheaper, more enviro-friendly imports)

Crosby (what is he doing fighting with a visor?) tries to split the Buffalo d-men, but loses the puck. Foggy visor?

One more reason why we should discourage the use of visors. One step closer to the main goal, banning helmets. (We'll look so crazy the European players will only play in the competing European Superleague. We get a league without those diving, drug-abusing, quitters!)

CBC commentator Jim Hughson defends the teams justification for playing the trap because of the significance of the 'two points'. To hell with that.. Too bad the NHL gave us Buffalo and Pittsburgh for this barn-burner. If this game were in Red Deer, and pitted the Flames and Oilers it would be a war! And with the way Kipper is playing, you can guarantee it would be a higher scoring game than 1-1.

Don Cherry must be smiling. Seeing our good Canadian stars thrive in the climate that puts those with a visor at a disadvantage. I've been trying to tell you, Don Cherry is the greatest Canadian of all-time, and the most reliable man in hockey.

The Triumph of a Gold Star September!

This is dedicated to Christie Docking (always referred to by first and last name). My loving SR who showed me the ways of skipping class. And then cramming for a test all night. Also to her roommate Sarah, for teaching the art of all-nighters. Thanks for being such good academic role models.

Both of my parents are teachers. Towards the end of my high school years, my dad became vice-principal. My mom taught kindergarten at one end of the school (K-12), and my dad taught shop and history at the other, his office in the middle of the school.

Thus it was extremely difficult to skip class. It was not a thing I had experienced until I came to university.

Even then, I did an incredible job of not missing class considering I had a 9:00AM on Friday mornings. I napped my ass off in first year. (Who am I kidding. I nap my ass off all the time.)

I remember it quite vividly. It was mid-October when RSA collected damaged fridges and replaced them with new ones. My SR Christie Docking came to get me because she knew our fridge was broken and that we would not have read the posters. I looked at her and said "But I have Stats! How can I get a new fridge?"

"Pfft! Who goes to class? I'm a second year business student and I don't!"

Enter the snowball theorem. As soon as you miss a class, you will return the next day and be lost, and be more inclined to not make the next class. The skipping continues until one day you arrive at class and realize you have no idea what the hell is going on. Your attitude is then changed to "There is nothing he is going to say that will make me understand what is happening. I'll just read like hell two days before our final. That jerk can't even speak english anyways."

While I have never really experienced the snowball effect, I have tactfully planned out which classes can be skipped. For example, COMS 363. No material from class will be tested, it isn't even relevant for your assignments. To me that screams absent without apology. I did make up for it though, doing a presentation at 3:00 on BSD. So it felt like I'd gone to more than enough class.

Now anyone who knew me last year, knows I might not have had impeccable attendance. But really, a night class before council? When our prof would just read the notes off of his powerpoint. Furthermore, you buy the same notes in lieu of a textbook. Sorry sir, I'll be missing your class from now until April. See you at the final!

I'm also the only Haskayne School of Business student to pass Finance 317 without attending a single lab or lecture.

"Pfft! Who goes to class? I'm a second year business student and I don't!"

Well folks I can happily report another gold star month. All classes attended for the entire month of September! I've even skipped Leafs pre-season games in favour of class. Albeit Jimi Hendrix: His Life and Legacy. And the fact that pre-season hockey is as relevant as the number of shingles on my roof (zero).

Dare to dream.... Gold star October? Gold star Semester?

Actually cher Docking is returning next week. We're going out for dinner. But, wait, I have a class at 5:00 Christie, I can't make it.

"Pfft! Who goes to class? I have a BCOMM and I don't!"

Also, a note to Mama B who I know reads this. I just used that finance 317 line just to make you cringe (betcha it worked!). Mom, I got 100% on the second test, it's simply not possible to do that without attending class. And Papa B, I'm exaggerating to make the story more interesting. Plus, I've failed most of these courses at least twice, so I've basically been going to two times as much class as everyone else!

I had a dream...

Allow me to take the time to invite you into the dreams that I had last night.

Part #1: Montauk Point

I was informed of a land where people go to trade their possessions for other junk. It's a land littered of cool stuff you may want. The only catch is you have to swap it with something else. So, I trecked out to this land, puzzled as to why people would have such a 'stuff swap' and asked whoever was telling me about the land as to why someone wouldn't just take all the stuff.

Because, surely, nobody could possibly climb all the way to Montauk Point and gather all the possessions. So I embarked with a tennis ball and took off.

Montauk Point is mentioned in Brand New's: "Play Crack The Sky", the finale to their 2003 release "Deja Entendu". Thought you Brand New fans would get a kick out of that.

Part #2: The Super Bowl

I have reached the pinnacle of sport a few times, and once again, I went to the Super Bowl. Oddly enough, a teammate of mine was Julie Bogle. We were playing for a blue and white team (maybe the Colts, I don't recall) and our opposition might have been the Pittsburgh Steelers. Either way, the important part is that Bogle and I took the greatest show on turf by storm, and fought admirably.

For whatever reason, at the end of regulation, with the score tied, Julz and I decided to take off and go get something. I don't know what was important to leave the Super Bowl, but we had to hurry back and sprint to catch the C-Train. We were going to the far North end of the line (Dalhousie station). Apparently, the Super Bowl was held in Calgary.

By the time we had returned, we lost by 10 points. Oddly enough, NFL rules are sudden death, so this score is impossible. However, apparently the other team was just that good.

Next year Julie.... Next year...

It happened again.

-Levi wrote this. It's close enough. Although, strangely enough, I did know that TIE meant Twin Ion Engine. That's what living with Mike Selnes will do for you.

After loudy threatening to slit my television's throat following my favourite football team's latest defeat, I lost to Levi in a Star Wars battle of wits. How could he possibly know that the TIE in TIE Fighter stands for Twin Ion Engines"?! I envy his vast stores of pointless knowledge and I strive to one day out-nerd him.

The two losses were too much to deal with. I decided to call it a night. Four glasses of milk and six Beatles albums later, I fell asleep.

Poppa B always told me to never drink so much before bed. I shouldn't have put off buying those rubber sheets....

- Allan

PS, Tune in tomorrow for "The Clean Up"!

It All Started With the Baconator

A fly on the wall would think that all I've done today was say goodbye to Heber, make a phone call, lie in my bed all morning listening to whatever song 'shuffle' decided to play next, and eventually shower and make my way to a computer.

That fly would not only be cheating death creepin' near my impeccable fly-swatting skills, but he would also be dead wrong. Upstairs, the hamster has been running on his wheel since the crack of dawn...

Ever feel like you are running a little low on karma? I like to think I'm a generally nice person and usually don't fear the repercussions from bad karma, since the good outweighs the bad significantly in most cases. I try to act on any opportunity I can get to be a good samaritan. Simply doing little acts of kindness that are (sadly) not expected out of people on the street boosts up my standing with karma. But, the theory of regression to the mean suggests: if a player (gambler or team) performs significantly better or worse than normally expected, then in the future, he will return to the average expectation of that player (gambler or team). (Thanks to a gambling website called Punting Ace for that definition).

In other words, while you will usually perform at the average (in this case the average is good karma), there may be times when you do better or worse, they just balance out and regress to the mean.

I have a feeling I'm in one of the "performing significantly worse" periods. This August I think I've borrowed change from "Take-a-penny" jars more times than I've left a few coins. I can't particularly remember being a nice lad to any senior citizens this month. I've downloaded a fair amount of movies and music. DEFTA.

It all started with the Baconator and "The Summer of Crime". If you haven't heard, this summer is the aptly named "Summer of Crime" (preceding the Autumn of Time). Not any crimes that would make a newspaper headline, but garden gnomes beware, and if Rogers video thinks they're getting their copy of Small Soldiers back, they've got another thing coming. Now when Jordan was leaving for work this morning he found himself a large display poster for the Wendy's sandwich that promises a heart-attack by age 35. If this whole summer of crime thing has gotten big enough that we are awaking to dissidents leaving signs on our front step, maybe it's gone far enough.

Now when I saw this Baconator I had an overwhelming feeling... and not the mouth-watering feeling I usually get when I see that much bacon. A voice told me: You've got to go get some good karma before it's too late. Seeing as how the last time I woke up with that voice in my head it was bang on (I simply knew Barry Bonds was going to hit his record-breaking home run that night), I felt as though I'd better not ignore the warning. I didn't follow Bonds' roids driven pursuit of a record, so it was quite peculiar to have such a strong feeling. If this voice knows as much about karma as he does about sockin' dingers, I'd better treat this seriously.

In other words, I had better start balancing out these examples of bad karma fast, otherwise I could be in for trouble.

So, while I was lying in bed I thought of the cliche, not-very-funny challenge that every selfish sit-com character faces at some point if their show lasts more than 4 seasons. Do one selfless good deed. This question has always irritated me. If this jerk hasn't done one good deed his entire life, then why is he living in the same apartment as Jennifer Aniston? Surely he/she would have been straightened out before that point when you can't even perform one good deed.

Pfft. I can probably perform one good deed without even getting out of bed. To "www.thehungersite.com" I go. Every time you click it donates 1.1 cups of food. But then it dawns on me, that food is probably donated anyways, and this is just a way to view the advertisements from the company that donated the food in the first place. My click merely fulfills the business plan of such a charity. While each click is good, to show support for others that give, that food is on the way over to a hungry belly anyways. I mean, it's not like somebody is sitting at the other end of the interweb, and as soon as they see that I've clicked, they scoop 1.1 cups of food into a bag and fedex it to Africa, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, or wherever it is needed. To me, this just wasn't enough. Yes it was a good thing, but I don't think it's enough to balance this summer of crime. Needless to say, I also clicked the Breast Cancer Site, Child Health Site, Literacy Site, Rainforest Site, and the Animal Rescue Site. After all, beggars can't be choosers.

Easy, I'll just go out on the town and see where I can make somebody else's day easier. I'll grab my piggy bank and go from local business to local business, filling up "Leave-a-penny, take-a-penny" dishes everywhere! But what if the karma thing was a warning? What if I get in a car accident on the way to nowhere? I'm sure not going to bike or walk, out of fear of physical injury.

This has led me here. "Remember when we were going to have blogs last Summer?" I asked Brynn this morning before he left. I realized a few hours later that maybe I should use my blog to advertise for thehungersite.com, and to encourage my friends to pursue good karma by being better citizens and nicer people. Wouldn't that be more effective? I imagine masses of internet users who google "The Baconator" will find this blog, read the message, and start doing good deeds.

This is what I learned:
If you were very conniving, you would try to hang out with me as much as possible, and manipulate my quest for your own personal gain. You sly hound...

It was far too easy for me to avoid going out and being a nice guy and justify staying at home and typing on my computer.

The Baconator, bears striking resemblance to the burger Krusty endorses in the Simpsons Movie. (If you can find a greasier sandwich, YOU'RE IN MEXICO)

Gambling websites are great sources of definitions from Statistics. That sort of makes the guy playing poker in class seem brilliant doesn't it.

Conniving is impossible to spell.

There is just no way to make the quest for a selfless good deed funny.

They say music makes the world turn

Or at least I just said it... I find when I'm living alone and don't have friends just a fire escape away, I spend more time listening to music. Not just playing it and tapping my toes, but actually like listening, man. I mean, so much of what we hear we don't listen to. Right there I tried to post like a stoner.

Anyways, I'm on a rampage! I've been downloading non-stop lately. I'm taking a course on U2 this spring, so I'm trying to get their discography. Someone in Glacier Hall had some sweet tunes, so I jacked over a hundred. Trace Bundy I strongly recommend. He does nothing but guitar, and it sounds so good. I also downloaded some Postal Service and The Shins for when I feel like pretending to be indie. Another one I picked up was Bedouin Soundclash, which is reggae influenced to the max. A change from Bono or someone who hates their dad. I also hit up some Miles Davis.

Speaking of hating your dad (i don't), I got tickets to the Dashboard Confessional and City and Colour concert. I do like Dashboard, but I think the main reason was the rave reviews City and Colour got from the Phil and Levi show. I downloaded some and it's acoustic, with some acoustic blues. It sounds pretty good so far, and I'm pretty stoked on it. The only thing is, almost every song is named something to do with blades, blood, or cutting. I don't cut myself, nor do I want to, so I wonder if I'll be able to relate?

Buying tickets was sorta fun too. The emo was so apparent I felt like I should start crying or something. Lots of teen angst waiting to buy the tix. Most of these kids were waiting outside ticketmaster (which was open). I walked in like I owned the place, which I should, and wielding my coffee mug I waited in line. Then the line waited behind me. Not sure why they were outside, maybe their dad worked for ticketmaster and they didn't want to see him...

Anyways, damn the service charge on tickets ($8 ya bastards). I'll close with this, I wish my grass were emo so it would cut itself.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Well, after hanging out with Milk River's finest last night, I was walking to the traing, and going to be there at the time of arrival or the last train. I got a little worried that I'd miss it so I sprinted a bit- then walked- then i was on the tracks and heard the train so i sprinted again, and made the train by seconds.

Nonetheless I felt cool- but then from entering the train until I got home I saw not one person- so creepy to walk on an empty campus. A night of going to SLC and then maybe the den quickly turned into spending all night out with Bogle.

I slept in then, and now I have 40 minutes to go to a job interview and I haven't showered. I should really go.